A Week of Firsts

There have been a lot of firsts for me in the last couple of days. I went motorcar racing this week with a bunch of friends from In-life. HELLO! Friends from home, why haven't we done this?! I ended up racing twice, it was so much fun. But because of my competitive nature I also ended up betting one of the most experienced drivers that I would be able to keep up with him on the track... sometimes my big mouth gets me into trouble. I don't know what I was thinking. This guy has been racing motorcars since he was 10 and owns his own motorcycle. But I bet him anyways. If I won then he had to give me a ride on his motorcycle. If he won, I had to bake him some cookies. I figured, if I was going to lose I would at least get to eat some cookie dough (my chocolate chip cookies have been a big hit here).

The first run Laco was a gentleman and allowed me to race ahead of him to start off. But it wasn't long before he butted into my lane and sped away ahead of me. He was half way around the track before I had time to blink. I got a rhythm on the track about half way into it. I figured out when to push down on the gas all the way through a turn and when to balance the gas and break to get around the tighter corners. I learned that fish tailing is fun, but it slows you down. At the end of the race I was proud to find out I didn't finish last! My adrenaline was pumping and I was ready to get back out on the track to better my lap time. I didn't care that my hands and forearms were shaking uncontrollably from holding the wheel so tightly.

An hour later I was racing again. This time I knew the track and my opponents. We all sped off, hitting the gas as hard as we could around the turn. I was able to keep two guys behind me past the first turn.  Three tight turns were coming up, and I knew they would have to hang back until we got through them. I tried to hit the turns as smoothly as I could. Success! I passed one car and was able to keep most of the others behind me. My friend Katka and I battled it out on the next lap. She nearly caused me to crash, but I creeped by her on the inside track. I had a couple frustrated drivers behind me for the rest of the race. They pushed and shoved, but somehow I was able to keep my lead. I finished with a faster lap time, AND with the triumph that Laco wasn't able to pass me on the track. There was a motorcycle ride in my future.

Today was a beautiful day for a motorcycle ride. It was warm and sunny with big, white, puffy clouds that sprinkled the blue sky with magnificent contrast. By the time Laco and I set off the sun was setting. It was that beautiful orange hue that made the green leaves of the trees glow with warmth. Laco went slowly at first, being considerate of the fact that it was my first time on a motorcycle. But as we got out of the city's main streets and onto the winding roads of the countryside he leaned into his handle bars and picked up speed. As I lavished the thrill of racing up and down roads and around corners, I took in the green, rolling hills stretched out on either side of me. We stopped twice. First, at a race track to watch the "experienced" riders at work. Then again as we passed the dam on our way back. We stood by the bank watching hot air balloons stretch across the water.

I think Laco could sense my confidence growing on the bike because we got back to the office quite quickly from the dam. The motorcycle ride seemed to finish before it started, but it's an afternoon that I will always remember. Laco, if you're reading this thank you again for such a great ride. And don't worry, I intend to keep my end of the deal. 

Playing Charades

Charades is a great game. Especially if you play it with people that are willing to risk looking a little foolish to have a bit of fun. Masters of the game know how to contort their bodies and faces into inhuman positions in attempt to resemble whatever it is that is written on their card. The expectant teammates frantically yell out words hoping that one of them will lead to the right answer. Thrill and excitement ensues when someone guesses correctly and part of the puzzle is solved. "Ok, second word... sounds like..." and the game carries on!

When you are prohibited from speaking, communication suddenly becomes a whole different exercise. Have you ever thought what life would be like if communication was limited to hand gestures and a few befuddled noises? Those of you who have ever struggled with language barriers know exactly what I'm talking about. The few words that you know become your lifelines in trying to express the other ten words you want to communicate. When a person talks you have to listen carefully for any fraction of a word that sounds familiar. You focus on hand gestures and body language. A quick roll of the eyes or a slight movement of the hand could give you a clue to the puzzle.

Over the last four months I have become very good at playing this game. I play it constantly when my Czech friends try to explain a new English word to me. They start gesturing with their hands trying to form it's shape in midair. I begin to laugh when they make noises in attempt to imitate its sound. "It's about this big... it has feathers... and sounds like a dying cat..." "Peacock!"

I've noticed the more I play the game the better my observational skills become. I love observing my friends while they are having a conversation in Czech. As I stand by and watch, I can usually figure out what they're talking about. I then love joining the conversation just to see the look on their faces. They stand there looking at me, eyes wide and jaws dropped to the floor. I just look back at them with a playful smile. They now like to test me in my understanding. Just a few days ago I stood in the dining room and observed several people having different discussions around me. After everyone was done talking a friend turned to me and asked what I thought they had talked about. I went from one person to the next describing everyone's conversation. They laughed in amusement and told me to keep up the good work.

I wish God was just as easy to read...

I sometimes see my relationship with God as a big game of Charades. I'm waiting to catch a glimpse of a hand gesture, a flicker of the eye, anything that tells me what direction He has laid out for me. He has given me plenty of signs, I just need to look for them. Exhilaration comes when He gives me confirmation of a right decision. But brokenness is felt when I realize I have made a wrong one.

Bumps in the road are equally hard to face. They might not always be a wrong decision, but it's still hard to accept God's change in direction. I had to face this just last week. God has changed my direction for this trip in a big way. I will be spending four months in England starting in July, and spending less time in Greece. England was nowhere in my plans before I left, but it's now written on my itinerary in bold letters. But God has taught me that with every bad decision and every bump in the road, He is still leading me in the right direction.

God had to take me through the process of accepting this redirection, and it was a bit painful. My sin was unearthed, and I was forced to face it's ugly head with my eyes wide open. There is nothing worse than admitting sin that you have tried hiding behind righteous motives. "I am serving you, Lord. Why can't you let me serve you where I want, and in the way I want?"

While dealing with my sin, I was reminded of a sermon I heard once that was about how we love God. The pastor made a point that I haven't been able to forget. Why do we always try to love God the way we want to be loved? It is like a wife trying to love her husband by sending him a bouquet of her favorite flowers and a box of her favorite chocolates. It sounds ridiculous, but we somehow think we can love God that way. "God, I know the Bible tells me that You are shown love in obedience, but how about I serve a few extra hours in the church instead?" Just as a wife must learn and understand how her husband wants to be loved we must learn how God wants to be loved. That is how we can show Him our true devotion.

I had to recognize my own self-righteousness last week, and love God in obedience. But you know what? God has mercifully given me joy in His new plan. Because that's what it really is. It's His plan. I am merely a traveller on His road. If He wants to take a hard right then I know it's for my own good. I just have to choose to love Him enough to take the turn with Him. 

Journal Excerpt

People sometimes say that a blog is just an online journal. I have to agree to a point, but I'm sure it doesn't come as a surprise that I don't share everything on this blog. But I've decided to give you a little excerpt today...


Wednesday, April 25, 2012:


As I'm sitting here on a small beach, I look out over the Aegean Sea and am amazed at how unreal the beauty of this day seems. The beach is a narrow stretch of tiny rocks, pretending to be sand, that disappears in places around Port Taylor. Along the rocky cutouts of the shoreline grow magnificent purple wildflowers. There are no waves on this clear calm day in the harbor, but the rhythm of the water lapping onto the shore brings nourishment to my expectant soul. 


The water ripples along the aqua blue peninsula in trained succession. It looks as though it's taking a leisurely stroll around the shore, watching people sun bathing, drinking coffee at beach-front cafes or having lunch on the deck of the local seafood restaurant. Fotis and Mary will be coming soon to meet me for lunch at such a restaurant. They say there is something special about Greek seafood. We will see...


Lunch was FANTASTIC: fresh calamari, shrimp, octopus, and some kind of squid. I'm sorry if I'm making some of you turn green, but I'm in Greece. You have to expect me to talk about seafood. There was also some fresh salad and bread in there somewhere ;)

I'm only half way through my trip, so I'm not going to give a full synopsis of it yet, but I thought a little teaser would keep some of you satisfied until I have time for a full post later next week. Just in case you haven't been on Facebook, here are a couple pics from the great city of Athens!

An Afternoon with Jana

So far, I have posted a lot about what I’m doing here, the places I have gone and the things I have learned. But today I would like to share a little bit about a friend I have made. Her name is Jana (Yana). 

Jana and I get along really well. She was one of the first people I met at the ski trip when I first arrived in Brno. Her sweet, bubbly personality caught my eye immediately. Everyone seemed to love her and I couldn’t wait to get to know her better. We had a few opportunities to talk at the ski retreat where I was introduced to her sensitive and caring nature. 

We soon learned that we shared a youthful quality. We like to giggle. We giggle like little girls whenever we see each other. All Jana has to do is look at me a certain way and we both break out laughing with childish glee. I don’t know what it is about Jana, but the sun always shines a little brighter when she smiles. I love to spend time with her. Even though she is a few years older than me, I know I have found a kindred spirit that also shares my 12 year old soul. 

I forgot to mention that Jana is one of my English students. And she speaks very little English. But somehow we have learned how to read each other’s mind. We laugh when I complete all of her sentences. When she can’t communicate her thoughts into words, she will usually break out into a game of charades making sounds and gesturing with her hands. After a few minutes of her frantically waving her arms and pointing to object in the room I confess that I knew what she was talking about the whole time, but I just wanted to see how well she could play our game. Then the laughing starts up all over again. 

Jana has taught me a lot. She cares for people far more than she cares for herself. Her eyes light up when she asks me about my weekend, even if all I did was spend every day sitting in my dorm room. She makes me feel like hearing about my boring weekend is the most interesting thing she has heard all day. God has greatly gifted her with a care and passion for people. She might not always understand the words I say, but she can understand their meaning. I remember the first words she said to me were, “I’m sorry, my English is not good. But my name is Jana.” Somehow I knew then that there was something special about her. 

This afternoon, Jana and I had English class. Instead of sitting in a gloomy room, we decided to go into the center and do some shopping. Jana had some errands to run and I was ready to get outside in the sunshine. I quickly revised my “lesson” to learning new vocabulary and proposed the plan to Jana. Her eyes lit up and she said, “Yes! What good idea!” As we walked out the front doors of the office, the warm rays of the sun were ready and waiting to meet us. But the cool spring breeze kept them in a comfortable balance. 

We rode the two trams to the center and Jana led me around the cobblestone streets and alleyways to her favorite craft shops. She loves to do crafts, and today she was buying supplies to make beautiful organza flowers that could be used as pins for your clothes or for your hair. As we walked through the shops, we practiced all her vocabulary: beads, chains, clasps, stones, thread, yarn, and on and on. At each store, we had to stop and admire everything lavender. It’s Jana’s favorite color and she’s yet to find something lavender that doesn’t bring more joy to her life. 

As the church bells rang, we strolled through the farmer’s market. We admired all the fresh herbs, fruit, nuts, vegetables and flowers the vendors were selling. Everything smelled fresh and juicy. The air was full of spring. We walked down another alley that lead to one of Jana’s favorite stores. It’s called Dominica’s Place. Inside the tucked away store were beautiful vintage place settings, candle holders, clocks, wooden boxes lanterns and much more. It looked like the store could have come straight out of a magazine. The spiral staircase in the back corner showcased a decorative place setting complete with ornamental duck figurines. It took little effort to imagine a fantastical, candlelit, garden party under a canopy of stars in this quaint little shop. As we left, we both sighed with the desire to stay in our dreamland. 

No afternoon spent in the center would be complete without ice cream. Actually, most of what they have here in Brno is gelato. But you won’t hear me complaining. As expected I got chocolate and Jana took swirl. We walked and licked. We licked and talked. And as we headed back to the office, I had to suppress the urge to start skipping along the sidewalk as if we were two grade school girls on summer vacation. 

I hope to spend more afternoons like this with Jana. Life always becomes a little fuller and the day is a little brighter. If only I could put her in my pocket and take her with me wherever I go. I know you all would love to meet her :)

Sweet Silence

Hello dear readers,

I sometimes sit here and wonder how many of you are out there? Twenty, maybe twenty-one? But then one of two things happen... either I get depressed thinking there might be only five people who read my blog. Or I get terrified thinking there might be hundreds of people I don't know reading my blog, and that now know all of these personal things about me. Ridiculous, I know, which is why I've stopped thinking about it. So, I'm just going to pretend we're all close friends and we're sitting down for a cup of coffee...

Do you want to know what happened last week? Good, because I'm going to tell you anyways. This conversation is going to be one-sided. If you want to share what you did last week, you'll have to go start your own blog. This one has my name on it ;)

Charlie

Spring has finally sprung! The world outside is starting to turn several shades of green. I attempt to take a walk every day. I wander the neighborhood that surrounds the dormitory where I live. I live on the side of a hill so I get a good workout walking up and down the streets. On one of my walks a couple of weeks ago, I met a new friend. He's a beautiful dog that I've named Charlie. As I walked by his house, he jumped up next to the gate wagging his tail. I stopped and tried petting his furry back through the holes in the gate. He got excited and started nipping at my fingers playfully. As I began to walk away he started barking in disappointment. I walked back, gave hime one last pat on the head and promised to visit another day. However, the next time I walked by Charlie was accompanied by another dog that looked just like him. This new friend was not very friendly. He started barking at me as soon as I came close to the gate. I decided he wouldn't get a name until he becomes a little nicer. We are still working things out.

Pilgrimage Church of St. John

Just in case you are beginning to worry that my only friends are animals I meet on the street, I have made a lot of human friends too. I got to spend a lot of time with them this weekend at a retreat In-Life held for the believers in the cities of Brno and Prague. We stayed at a facility in the "Highlands" about an hour North of Brno. There is some beautiful country up there! We took a short walk to an old, beautiful church that sat on a hill overlooking the town. It was rainy that day, but the church and it's views were still breathtaking. The church is one of 192 sites protected and preserved by UNESCO. If you don't know what that is, go look it up.

The retreat was spent in sweet fellowship with fellow believers. The time was refreshing and re-energizing. I met new people, and got to know others better. I think the most significant thing I walked away with was a deeper understanding of time spent with God. Let me explain...

In the past, my understanding of time spent with God was always active. I pray, work through different issues in my life, and read my Bible. These things aren't wrong, and I definitely should be doing them. But I learned this weekend that time can be spent with God I'm complete silence; no words, no thoughts, no sounds. Just time spent recognizing God is present. God and I went for a peaceful walk together on Friday night. As I stumbled throughout the dark I found a path that ran next to the river which flowed through town. We walked up and down the path just appreciating each other's company. We found a bridge that crossed the river, and we sat watching a flock of ducks settle into their nests for the night. It was an amazing time that brought me closer to the One I love. I didn't have to be pouring out my heart, or learning a new truth from His Word. I was just there with Him enjoying the cold beauty of the evening.

The rest of the weekend was just as impactful. We learned how to better communicate with God. I think this helped in teaching us how then to better communicate with others. I was sad to see the weekend end. But a friend wisely told me it's better for a thing to end with you wanting for more than for it to overstay its welcome.

I want to leave you with this same feeling as I end this post. It is over for now, but more is coming...

The "American" Smile

I learned this week that there is such a thing as an "American" smile in the Czech Republic. I discovered this a few days ago when I met a girl at a cafe. She was very interested in my life in California and asked me a lot of questions. All of a sudden, she burst out, "You have to show us your American smile!" I thought she was joking at first so I laughed. But then I realized she was serious. She and the other four people sitting at the table were staring at me intently, waiting for me to show them my American smile... I didn't know what to do next. I told them I had no idea how an American smile was different from a regular smile. They explained to me that Americans always wear a big smile and show their teeth in pictures, even if they aren't happy. It's fake and looks forced.

After I thought about it, I realized she was right. We do force a smile every time a picture is taken. It doesn't matter if we're at a wedding or a funeral. We wear the same smile. It made me question if we fake more than just a smile. I think the idea that we always have to seem happy or content in life is a big part of the American culture. We also don't like to admit our weaknesses. We are Americans. We are strong and  proud. Weakness only leads to failure.  

I was talking with a friend today for a long time about this topic of weaknesses. He is on staff here at In-Life and attends my student conversational class on Thursday afternoons. We were discussing yesterday's class when I admitted to him that I didn't feel confident in my teaching that day. I had my lesson plan prepared and printed out in front of me, but I still felt lost. I couldn't find a direction for the discussion to go. I told him how discouraged I was feeling after class when a student came up to me and enthusiastically told me how much she enjoyed the class that day. What? I couldn't believe it! But even more people came up to me afterwards expressing how much they enjoyed the topic and discussion. As I look back on it today, with new perspective, God was hard at work through my apparent weaknesses. More fruit came from yesterday's class than from all the previous classes.

Why does God work that way? Why doesn't He work through the days that I am feeling confident and strong? I don't want to imply here that I have all the answers to these questions, and I do believe God works through our strengths. But God showed me this week that weaknesses aren't a sign of defeat. They are a tool. A verse automatically came to mind while I was thinking this through. It comes from 1 Corinthians 1:27 and it says, "But God chose what is foolish in this world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong." Now, I am not saying that we should accept our weaknesses as a part of our personality and not work toward fighting against them. The Bible also tells us to become more like Christ; to continually sanctify our life in preparation for His second coming. But it clearly states in the verse above that God chooses to work through our weaknesses.

There has been more evidence of this in my life in the past 6 months than I'd like to admit. God has had to work through more of my weaknesses than through my strengths. But through this I have grown so much closer to Him. He has taught me so much about myself. His power is shown so much greater in my weakness than in my strength. And this trip has been all about God's power! But an even sweeter discovery came in realizing that through God's strength, we are shown strong. People see God through us. We become God's example for other people. Just like in class yesterday, I was feeling discouraged and disappointed. But no one saw that. All they could see was the strength God gave me to instruct the class in a successful manner. We still shine because God shines. And that is when it has the most impact both in our lives and in other people.

I hope that all made sense! Sometimes the thoughts in my head make sense to me, but they don't come out so clear to other people. I have been very enriched this past week through what God has been teaching me. I'm really looking forward to next week too! An American missionary is coming to Brno to give a lecture on communication with God. The people here at In-Life say he is an excellent speaker and always gives interesting lectures. He has kept a great relationship with the people here for many years. I will also be going to a retreat next weekend with the fellow believers here. I am looking forward to getting away and spending some intimate time of fellowship with these new friends.

God continues to put people at home on my heart. I think and pray for you often. I know the people at Crossroads are gearing up for the big Easter celebration! Know that I will be with you all in spirit that day and will be praying it gives you opportunity to reach more in Santa Clarita. Here's hoping for 2000 more people to show up next year! My family has especially been on my heart this week. There have been times here that I've had the opportunity to meet other's family members. It aches my heart to know I can't  introduce my own family and have them along on my adventures. I miss you Mom, Dad, Pooper, Fatty and Baby Girl!

I will write again soon :)

Rachel

JOY

Last week I taught a conversational English class to a group of eleven students. The topic was life fulfillment. What is fulfillment? Where do people find fulfillment? Can ultimate fulfillment in life be reached? As I prepared the lesson, I was forced to ask myself these same questions. Being a Christian, I could easily and robotically respond with, "Christ is my ultimate fulfillment". But stating a quick response is much easier than having to explain and reinforce my beliefs in front of a class of atheistic students. Could I stand in front of them with my beliefs and have no secret doubts of it's truth in my life? 

I now ask you these same questions that have been running through my head the last few days. What is fulfillment? Where do you find fulfillment? I hope it forces you to soul search just as it has me. 

During the class discussion one very interesting conversation was started about the meaning of joy. One student said that ultimate fulfillment is finding complete joy in something. Another student argued that joy was the same as happiness, an emotion that comes and goes with the tide. This student then proposed that ultimate fulfillment could never be reached. As long as you are alive, you will always be in want for something. Happiness is only temporary. I have to agree that happiness is a temporary emotion. It is dependent on surrounding elements that make up life at the time. But JOY, joy is something different. 

I believe joy is a state of being, not an emotion. I believe you make a decision to be joyful the instant you accept Christ into your life. With Christ as your Savior, God as your Father and the Holy Spirit as your guide, in what other way can you express your new, perfect and holy state? Complete joy is what bursts forth from a renewed spirit. That is what I call finding ultimate fulfillment. Does this mean that I never have a bad day; that I walk around with a smile on my face all the time? Absolutely not. But what it does mean, is that through the rough days, through the trials, and through the disappointments, I can find joy. There isn't a bad day or a heavy emotion that can change my eternal future in heaven with my God. 

These last few days have been emotionally draining. God has had to show me that following His will is not a promise of an easy road. Each step is a step of faith; a test of my dependence on Him. Even though happiness has not defined my last few days, joy has. I can say with complete sincerity that God is my true fulfillment and my joy. The challenge now is can others see this joy no matter what emotion has taken over? My desire and my prayer is that they can. 

I'll write again soon,

Rachel